It's taken me a long time to muster up the courage to write this post. The obvious reason being that it's a fairly private topic... however I'm the type of person who likes to use her experiences to help others in similar situations. You may be wondering why I'm putting this on a blog that is (mostly) dedicated to health and fitness. I think self-confidence and being happy with yourself as a person, both inside and out has a lot to do with the wellness of a person, and I think that doing something to make you happier is definitely also going to make you more "well". I originally only planned to write this on my "Tales of a 38" Inseam" blog because it's dedicated to fashion/cosmetics, but I think the story can translate well to both blogs, and hopefully can help someone in similar situations that I found myself in. A lot of really amazing things have come out of this story, so let me start at the beginning.
It wasn't a "spur of the moment" type decision. Breast augmentation is something that I had been thinking about for at least two years prior to my actual surgery back in May 2013. However it wasn't until I actually started researching procedures and surgeons and clinics that I actually made my choice to go ahead with it. Growing up I always had a boyish figure. I am very tall and thin. I've always had curves on my bottom half, but I was never blessed with curves up top. It's something I came to terms with when I was younger, always purchasing and wearing bras that made me look a lot bigger than I was.
As time went on, it became more of an issue for me. Working out all the time, I couldn't help but always see myself in mirrors and notice that my breasts were just as flat as my stomach, I hated having no curves. Being into fashion was always kind of tricky as well, I could never wear anything low cut because I had zero cleavage to fill it out or to show off at all. I didn't want to wear massive padded bras all the time that tend to look a bit awkward, so I was very concious as to not purchase clothing that would show off my upper half. I slowly became extremely self-concious of myself. Going out on weekends caused me anxiety as I knew I'd see women with the shape I'd been longing for. It sounds dramatic, but it's how I felt.
For me, having small breasts was almost like having crooked teeth. People who have crooked teeth are normally self-concious about it and get braces to fix what they don't like. The same goes for people with crooked noes due to whatever reason... if it bothers them enough, they head under the knife for a rhinoplasty. Having smal breasts was no different for me than someone with braces, so I looked into my options for breast augmentation. Luckily for me, I had a friend who recently had the procedure and answered many questions I had for her. The next thing for me to do was search and find a surgeon who I would connect with and who would assure me that what I wanted done, would be done.
Under no circumstances did I want to look like Heidi Montag or Barbie. This was my list of criteria:
- I wanted to maintain my long and lean look. I don't want to be big at all.
- Having better shape in my breasts was my main focus, no size.
- I don't want the roundess at the top of my breasts like you see a lot of women with, I want them as natural looking as possible.
- I need to like and trust my surgeon.
So with my friends recommendation, and A LOT of online research, I went for my first consultation at The Plastic Surgery Clinic in Mississauga, ON. To be honest with you, I have probably never been more scared in my life. When my name was called to head into the room, I needed C to come with me because I was so nervous. I've never inquired about something so private and I knew I was going to have to show the surgeon my breasts, which was something I dreaded since I hated how I looked.
When I went into the room, I initially met with Jenny, a patient coordinator at the clinic. She basically walked me through what would happen in the consult, gave me a gown and told me to undress from the waist up and that Dr. Lista would be in soon to see and talk to me. I got undressed and waited on the chair and I swear I probably sweat like a litre of water because of my nerves.
When Dr. Lista came into the room, he looked at my breasts, did some quick measurements and gave me the size range he felt I could go to and still look extremely natural and keep my long and lean look. He told me my options for implant sizes, where I could get the incision, and what types of implants I could choose from. Then he left me to try on different sizes with Jenny. That was definitely the most fun part of the whole experience, and Jenny was so nice and outgoing, I instantly loved her.
I ended up booking my surgery that day for 6 weeks down the road. I was very hesitant in making the decision, but Dr. Lista had answered all of my questions and made me feel confident in my decision wheather I decided to go with the surgery or not.
Fast forward 6 weeks and it's the morning of surgery. Because I'm diabetic they operated on me first thing in the morning so I didn't go too long without food. I had to be at the clinic a little before 7am (BRUTAL) where I waited, hungry and thirsty, for my name to be called. I had a bag full of stuff I had to bring with me (pajamas, extra diabetic stuff, button down shirt... etc) and then my name was called and I was off. C went and hung out at Starbucks while I was getting cut open lol. I went into a pre-op room where I changed into my pajamas, put on a robe, a housecoat, a cap thing for my hair (I looked like a penis, seriously) and sat in a chair under a heating blanket watching City Line for like 20 minutes. Nurse Lori came in and gave me a cocktail of pills, had me test my blood sugar and walked through the whole procedure with me. After Lori was through drugging me, Dr. Lista came in, all smiles and so excited to cut me open. He plotted what he was going to do directly on my skin and asked me the size I was going so that he could write it on my so he "didn't forget"... 300 cc's and we're good to go.
So then it came time. When I get nervous I laugh a lot and try to make jokes. Normally this always comes at inappropriate times but no one cared here. I was lying on an operating table trying to talk weather with the nurses. I think the lady putting me under actually commented on how I had perfectly shapped eyebrows (hellp plastic surgery clinic, of course you would notice something like that) and so I joked about how I won't need those fixed any time soon. I can't remember if they laughed or not. I'm sure I thought I was funny. Then I dozed off...
.... then I woke up in the recovery room, and didn't feel the hottest. Not going to lie here, when you've just had surgery, it isn't cotton candy and butterflies, it does come with some pain. My chest was tight, I couldn't really use any of my stomach muscles and I just wanted to sleep (they give you GOOD drugs). There was actually a guy across from me just waking up as I was munching on crackers and he mentioned that he felt like he reeeeeeally wanted a steak. I laughed at him and he then congratulated me on my additions. Awkward... lol.
I got wheeled out eventually and made my way downstairs to my car where C was waiting. I had a pain pump on me, two drainage tubes in my armpits (that's where my incisions were) and an insulin pump on me as well. I was basically I walking robot for 24 hours. I couldn't really get in and out of the car without help, but little Nurse Lori helped me! She's so cute. I went back to the clinic 24 hours later to have my drainage tubes removed (weirdest feeling of life!) and my pain pump taken off. Lori did all of that for me too. I remember her calling me "babe" a lot, I loved her for that, especially when I hadn't showered for 3 days and I knew I looked like a bag of garbage.
A week passed and by the time I went back for a follow up appointment, most of my bruising was gone. I took Arnica to help with bruising (Yay Homeopathic!) which I really liked. At that point I was taught how to cleanse my incisions going forward, and was given the products to use to help them heal. A week after that I went back again and my stitches were removed (only 1 in each pitter) and I had specific intructions on how to massage the tatas so that they didn't develop capsular contraction (I feel really smart knowing all this medical jargon now), and so they moved free like real boobies! It wasn't the best feeling in the world, but I listened to all my doctors orders and fast forward to today, and they are GREAT!
I still have scars in my armpits (medical term - axilla), but Im a slow healer because of my diabetes, and I'm using special silicone stuff to help them go away completely, so it's just a matter of time before they're all gone. During my whole pre-op stage, I had Brittany as my patient coordinator (not Jenny anymore) and she was wonderful. We talked on the phone probably once every two weeks just because I had so many questions and kept going back and forth between the sizes I wanted to go. I actually still keep in touch with Brittany, she's so cute and so nice... and 1 woman I know of that's taller than me lol. Dr. Lista was a great surgeon and was always curious how I was doing and how my bloog sugars were doing. He was the one who introduced me to the Miracle 10 products that I'm always raving about, as Miracle 10 was developed by The Plastic Surgery Skincare Clinic.
Overall I was so super impressed by Dr. Lista and his amazing staff. I never once felt uncomfortable (after my initial consult and surgery of course lol) and if I ever had any questions I always got an answer right away from Brittany. Dr. Lista is so kind as whenever I had questions about my healing or my incisions, he takes a little time out of his already crazy insane day to check me out quickly and make sure everything is alright. I get a bit paranoid with my healing, but he understands and seems to be ok with it.
I'm now actually acting as a Patient Advocate for the clinic, so whenever a patient wants to speak to someone who has had the surgery, they call me (or someone like me!). I've also worked closely with Miracle 10 now, as you know, and really do love their products and the company. I've made friends with Brittany and Nurse Lori and I still enjoy seeing Dr. Lista in my follow up appointments. He's one doctor I don't mind seeing as I don't get in trouble for anything by him lol!
I thought I'd be really shy about having this operation, but I really do enjoy talking to people about it who are genuinely curious. It was probably one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I'm so much more confident than I was before, and I just feel more like an actual woman.. not in a little boy's body. It really has been such an amazing experience and journey for myself... It has changed my whole perception on plastic surgery in general. I'm now way more open as to why people would get plastic surgery, and I think it's a beautiful, great thing.
If you have questions or comments or anything you want to say/ask me privately, feel free to send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org, and I will definitely respond right away! To my family who didn't know about this - well, now you do. Sorry I didn't spill it all over Thanksgiving dinner lol!
Thanks for reading my story, xo.